"Can you come and pick me up? I’m done in.” 
I said this holding back some tears. I admit, I’d dropped my shuffle of a run to a walk at 13 miles. It was meant to be my first 18 miler. With 4 weeks to go until the London Marathon, my mind was getting the better of me. “I’m not going to be ready. I can’t do this. I’m not a natural runner. I’m carrying too much weight to run this sort of distance.” 
For the remainder of Saturday I felt glum - a rare moment of self-pity and I was being negative. I’m normally positively optimistic. In fact, one of the many online personality tests found me to be a ‘Dreamy Idealist’. Running the London Marathon had been a dream of mine since I saw Uncle Jon run it 20 years ago. Ideally, I was going to run it with ease. 
I woke through the night feeling annoyed at myself and asked; what would Lady Gaga do? She would be pragmatic, so I went to Humber Runner the next day as I needed to sort my trainers out (my third pair). I need to take some advice from people who know what they’re doing (Thank you so much Matt and Paul – you really did make all the difference). I’ll continue training this week - if I can do 20 miles next Saturday, I’ll still run it but I'll need a contingency plan and will check I can defer it (if I really need to). 
At the point of writing this, my long run is tomorrow. I’ve done some short but good runs this week and I’m feeling positive. The thing I am feeling most positive about is that if I do begin to struggle, I am very lucky and grateful to have a rescue team (if needed). 
During my training runs I think about a lot of things but one prominent thought is the similarity in trying to run a marathon and running a business. It can feel really lonely at times. I often feel like an amateur, that I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just hoping to get round! But by making a plan, seeking advice, having a support team and a positive mindset, we really can do anything. 
I’m running for Children with Cancer.org. Any donations are greatly appreciated. 
N.B – I ran 20 miles and I am going to London! 
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